I ended up taking my laptop to the library, where it worked perfectly on their public wireless. So that saved me from taking it in to the computer hospital for a virus scan. Nothing to do but tough it out until the Day of the Upgrade, which was yesterday. About 2 pm I couldn't stand it anymore, so I headed out - yes, I took my computer to the library, and got caught up on LOLcats and everything else I was missing. When I noticed I felt much better after an hour-long Internet fix, I knew it: I'm hooked.
image by Randall Munroe via wikimedia.org